The burden of exams and endless hours of revision has had me reminiscing so much about school recently... I hated it with a passion at the time, but looking back it was amazing. So easy, literally not a care in the world, and so many jokes.
I went to an all girls school in the heart of Shirley... basically the center of inbred city. Loads of people have said to me they think they couldn't handle an all girls school, but I don't regret going there at all. I don't think half the things we all got up to would of happened had guys been there.
Really, it was a bit of an excuse for a school. Teachers had absolutely no control over the kids. I was on my "scheduled lunch break" from revision the other day, and I suddenly remembered this one time when all the students in the school went on a massive strike. It was brilliant, and for the most ridiculous reason. Basically the school said they were going to integrate tutor groups, and no one was having any of it. A few days before, messages went around to everyone saying no one was to go to any of their lessons or anything throughout the day... When they day came, it was hilarious. Hundreds of kids just sat in the playground in massive circles, whilst the teachers stood their aimlessly trying to convince everyone to move. There was even a chorus at one point of "We shall not, we shall not be moved" followed by "Kumbaya my lord". I remember I was in a latin class on the ground floor, and my friend banged on the window to get our attention, and we literally all ran to the back of the class and climbed out of the window whilst the teacher screamed hopelessly at us. Teachers were chasing people around the school, rumours were flying round about Miss Wagner (the biggest cunt of a human being you'll ever meet, nicknamed Pubehead) falling down the stairs, the police were called... It was one of the best days of school ever.
We had the standard school trips as well which always crack me up looking back. There was a water sports one we all went on, and the people running it there were so unbelievably hot. And I just remember at the time thinking, for some fucking deluded reason, they may be attracted to us?? What the actual fuck?! We were retarded little fourteen year olds, and all hideously repulsive to look at. We wore bright red shorts with bright yellow tshirts and jelly shoes... Really?! And I think it was just our year that was particularly goony looking, that's the sad part. There was a massive drama one night as well. One of the teachers helpers coming on the trip was this creepy guy called Alistair... the type of guy that wears really small black sunglasses so you can't see where he's looking. We all had come to the conclusion that he was a raging pervert. This particular night, two of the girls ran into our room in floods of tears because they'd told the teachers he was a perv, and no one believed them. But seriously, we had no proof WHATSOEVER. Our only "evidence" was that he was reading Zoo magazine on the journey up there, he peeked his head into our duvet tent and gave us a pedo smile one time and apparently he was always looking at our friends "boobs". And that is it. That was our evidence for dubbing a man a pervert. Well done us.
There were so many other brilliantly embarrassing things that happened at that school. I miss being able to get away with being a massive goon... Like literally a mentally deranged goon. Running to the library at lunch time with my friend to research Ann Frank (resulting in her running head first into a class room door that got opened before she ran past it), making up "crew" names, playing Pop Idol with the tutor group at lunch times, kidding myself into believing the french teacher was a ghost (seriously)... I could go on but I honestly believe I would be taken away and put in a straight jacket if I went any more in depth.
Don't get me wrong. I love University... I love the freedom and the way my life's changed since I've been here. But I'd do anything to go back just for a bit to those five years of unperturbed madness.
